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‘Research suggests’ that over politeness in the workplace could be detrimental to UK businesses. The research conducted by an online expenses management provider, claimed that a staggering 78% of office-based business managers say that being too polite could be costing their organisation money. The top reasons given by respondents as to why they hadn’t challenged wrongdoing in the workplace were due to managers not wanting to upset anyone (20%); not feeling comfortable having difficult conversations with employees (20%); and not wanting to appear rude (17%) – all of these allegedly symptomatic of over-politeness in the workplace.
Rosalie Collins, our BackupHR Consultant comments:
We would dispute these ‘findings’, as only the 17% who cite fear of being thought rude, might be acting in an ‘over- polite’ manner. Some of this of course may be traditional British reserve but it could also be a sign that managers are reluctant to deal with workplace conflict, perhaps because they have not been trained in the skills necessary for conflict resolution.
We are also aware that a regular criticism of HR professionals is that they are too cautious and low risk when dealing with concerns about suspect behaviour, and
won’t call a spade a spade, and tell an employee they appear to have done something wrong. Of course, be sensitive and keep an open mind, but if you think someone is committing a fraud, tell them what it looks like, don’t hide behind euphemism like ‘breach of our procedures’ (if you have them).
The real issue is not the fear of causing offence but the reaction to it, i.e. dealing with conflict. Everyone will, at some point, have issues or concerns with someone else at work; often this will manifest itself in negative behaviours such as blaming, personal attacks, aggression and on the past. Such a culture can result in high absence level and labour turnover as well as poor productivity and stress. The CBI has estimated that conflict in the workplace costs UK business £33 billion per year, taking up 20% of leadership time, and potentially losing up to 370m working days.
Conflict is inevitable yet can be a positive force when there are differences in opinion, if it is channelled correctly and used to problem solve. The important thing for employers is to have a range of means of dealing with conflict, whether they are informal or formal such as grievance procedures or mediation.
Accomplished managers rely on using a logical, principled structure to resolve conflict, whether it be formal or informal. The good news is, it is a process which can be taught and with practice gets easier, both on a skill and a confidence level. However, it is important to address conflict quickly, focusing on the problem, not the person, whilst being open to solutions. Avoiding conflict is only a good approach when the issue is unimportant. Issues like suspected fraud, 2 work colleagues falling out with each other, or people failing to follow procedures, are not unimportant, and need to be addressed confidently and assertively, in an appropriate manner.
Learning points:
The old saying that 'manners cost nothing' is true
It is not impolite to ask questions over matters of concern
Intervene quickly when misunderstandings or even disputes between work colleagues happen and try to sort the matter out positively between them
It is best to be clear about your concerns to avoid ‘misunderstanding’
Suspected rule breaking may be dealt with informally, but you should not be afraid to use your disciplinary procedure
Treating everyone with dignity and being assertive are important soft skills
Handling conflict is a key skill for organisational success
BackupHR run both public and in-house training on people management skills on a
raft of issues from delivering bad news or having difficult conversations through to
performance management, investigation skills, conflict resolution or dignity at work
training for both Managers and employees.
The guidance provided in this article is just that - guidance. Before taking any action make sure that you know what you are doing, or call us for specific advice.
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